Portland Pizza (Part 1): American Dream, Bella Faccia, Escape from New York, New York New York, Rovente, Stark Naked
Posted by extramsg on Wednesday, November 09, 2005 @ 20:31:14 PST
Contributed by extramsg
American Dream
In college, pizza made up one of my four basic food groups, along with burritos, hamburgers, and ice cream. A job at Pizza Hut, "pizza pizza" from Little Caesar's, the appropriately named 5 Buck Pizza -- I gained over 100 lbs in college and it took several years before I got rid of it. Part of that was giving up pizza, a food, I realized, I ate more for its simplicity than its taste.
I've built up a very low tolerance for bad pizza. Domino's, Papa John's, Round Table? I'd rather not eat. It wasn't until Apizza Scholls came along that my love for the flavored flatbread was renewed. Luckily, the lines out the door keep me from over-indulging.
But with this local gold standard and a new pack of pizzerias in town, I've decided it's time to survey what's out there. This first edition features six slice joints: American Dream, Bella Faccia, Escape from New York, New York New York, Rovente, and Stark Naked.
Photo Album
American Dream
Bella Faccia
Escape from New York
New York New York
Rovente
Stark Naked
American Dream
American Dream is the kind of pizza joint you'd expect on a college campus, not across the street from a hospital. Pizza box art decorates the walls and Bob Dylan plays on the stereo. It's a unique spot that has the funky charm that Oregonians love. Too bad the pizza is a bit funky tasting as well.
The first problem is the crust. On one visit it was total mush. But this happens with slices at some of the better pizza places as well. Yet even at its best it has a chemically aftertaste. The flakiness reminds me more of a pastry crust than a pizza crust, but some may like its texture. When cooked properly, it can have a nice crunch to it. If it tasted well, I can imagine looking forward to finishing the thick edges.
The worst problem is probably the flavorless sauce. I tried to taste it by itself, removing the cheese and licking it clean from the dough and still it was bland. If you've ever tasted tomato paste sans salt, I'd say you have a good idea of American Dream's sauce.
There's a large and interesting selection of toppings, with an emphasis on heart-healthy items, to choose from, including smoked oysters, roasted hazelnuts, and smoked gouda. (Whole pies have choice of pesto and chipotle sauces in addition to the standard tomato.) Slices start as cheese only and then whatever you want is added to those. The basic cheese is also bland. The pepperoni, my litmus topping, is sweet and spicy, but not meaty. Mediocre all-around.
Slices start at $2.00. Extra toppings are sixty-five cents. Beer-lovers will appreciate the nine microbrews on tap. Overall, at their best, American Dream's slices are mediocre.
4620 NE Glisan St
Portland, OR
503.230.0699
http://www.americandreampizza.net/
Bella Faccia
Bella Faccia feeds artists, art-lovers, and those just interested in the spectacle of the last-Thursday destination of Alberta Street. The restaurant itself even rotates art and is lit with the luminous works of the HiiH gallery across the street. The noseringed and tatooed sit next to young families who sit next to new money hipsters. And sometimes all three are the same. But they're all in search of a decent pizza pie.
The sauce and pepperoni are zippy. The cheese is too mild by comparison. In style, they most remind me of Escape from NY, but with gourmet/granola-eater options, such as the Vegan (roasted pepper/cashew/tomato base with marinated tempeh and choice of three veggies) or Aphrodite (artichoke pesto base with mozzarella and feta, green olives, roma tomatoes, and fresh basil), that make it more similar to Hot Lips or even Pizzicato. Personally, I found the tempeh disgusting, like eating grainy, dehydrated tofu, but if it's your kind of pie, there are shakers of nutritional yeast on the tables for extra protein and that give, what vegans will falsely insist is, a cheesy flavor. But perhaps you like your pizza to smell like a brewery.
The crust is the pizza's downfall. Not so much the texture, which is thin, chewy, and flexible, but the flavor. On my first couple bites I could tell something was off and I asked my wife what she thought of the crust. My wife, who's not near as picky as I am, nailed it: "It tastes like saltines," she said. Chewing on the unsauced edge portion, I realized what flavor it reminded me of: Olive Garden breadsticks.
The saving grace for Bella Faccia is consistency. It may be the most consistent slice in town -- and consistently decent. Not wonderful, not worth a trip, but certainly adequate for those in the neighborhood or in Northeast. $2.50 for cheese, $2.75 for pepperoni, and $3.25 for monstrosities like the vegan. They also have a patio.
2934 NE Alberta St
Portland, OR
503.282.0600
Escape from New York
People always mention the New York attitude they've suffered at Escape from New York. In several years of visiting the NW 23rd hole in the wall -- the pizza place I've probably visited more than any other in Portland --, I've never encountered it. Maybe that's because, like dedicated Soup Nazi customers, I step up, clearly state my desire for a piece of pepperoni, pay in cash, and move aside quietly to wait for my slice.
I was extremely disappointed on a recent visit with a group from PortlandFood.org on a Sunday pizza crawl. The crust was doughy and as limp as Bob Dole pre-Viagra. It was a first for me, but also the first time I'd had Escape's pizza on a Sunday, rather than a weekday at lunchtime. I returned a few days later and it was as tasty as ever.
The crust has a slight crackery flavor to it, though not as pronounced as Bella Faccia's. Held level, the slices bend midway, but have enough stiffness that when folded they can stick straight out.
The sauce is aggressive -- tomatoey, sweet, and spicy. The toppings stand up to it. The cheese is moderately flavorful, the pepperoni tangy. Escape's slices are some of the greasiest you'll find. I've seen people sopping up the grease from the top of the cheese with napkins. Personally, I find it to be a flavorful grease and would rather it drip into my mouth than drip onto the plate.
Overall, Escape's slices, when good, are among the best in town. $2.25 for cheese, $2.50 for pepperoni, makes them a good value, too.
622 NW 23RD Ave
Portland, OR
503.227.5423
New York New York
Cue music.
Me: Don Desiervi, thank you for inviting me to your restaurant. It's a great honor and I am grateful. May all your grandchildren be masculine grandchildren.
Don Desiervi: What can I do for you?
Me: Oh, Godfather, oh, Godfather, I don't know what to do! (Begins crying.) I can't find a great slice of pepperoni in Portland. (Now sobbing.)
Don Desiervi: You can act like a man! (Slaps me.)
Me: Oh, okay, well then I'd like a slice of pepperoni and a slice of cheese and maybe an eggplant parmigiana hero to go for my wife...
Don Desiervi: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse: $13.
Pat Desiervi has the thickest New York accent I've seen outside a Sopranos episode. And with one of his slices in your mouth and one of his humorous anecdotes in your ears, you might just think you are in New York.
The restaurant is just south of the Terwilliger exit off I-5 on Barbur. It's a small half-restaurant, half-bar, that only sells slices during lunch and sells out quickly.
They're the best slices I've had in town, yet. The crust is too thin to be rigid, but is cooked until slightly blistered underneath and around the edges. The extra cooking enhances its flavor.
The sauce is thin but assertive, with both depth and tanginess. The cheese is flavorful with enough salt to keep it from being bland. Toppings are good as well. Pepperoni is spicy, sweet, and meaty. Mushrooms are sauteed before going on a slice to reduce water and add flavor. Like Escape, slices can be greasy. But it's a flavorful grease.
Slices are gigantic, but also spendier than most places, starting at $3, plus $1 for each additional topping.
Rovente
This downtown standby feels like a cramped cafeteria with Vitamin D sucking lights. And the Hawthorne location is even smaller. But it doesn't really matter. It's perfect for those on the go in downtown who want lunch for under three bucks. $2.95 gets you a hefty slice and a soda, and has you covered for all those "efficient" calorie sources: fat, starch, and sugar. Plus a little caffeine to get you over the mid-day hump. ($2.75 without the soda.)
The crust is rather bland with a slight chemically aftertaste noticeable only when eaten alone (unlike American Dream). There's no puff or breadiness in the crust, but it is adequately crisp, similar in thickness and style to Escape, but not as tasty.
The sauce is sweet and garlicky and could benefit from a bit of spice. There's no bright tomato flavor to balance the sweetness. However, the decent toppings are able to enhance the flavor and the sauce doesn't drown out the cheese.
For some reason, the slices here are better than the sum of their parts. But not a lot better. While each individual part (crust, sauce, cheese, and toppings) eaten alone elicit no more of a response than, "Eh, it's okay," together they make for a balanced and moderately enjoyable slice. Sure, not much of a recommendation, but you'd only go there because you're stuck downtown in need of a cheap lunch anyway or want delivery that's better than DiGiorno.
512 SW 4th Ave
Portland, OR
503.224.9408
3240 SE Hawthorne Blvd Ste B
Portland, OR
503.234.0073
Stark Naked
Walking into Stark Naked with my wife, the dim lighting and airbrushed Portland night-time cityscape on the wall made the place almost feel romantic and cozy, rather than cramped. We were greeted pleasantly and we ordered a slice of cheese and a slice of pepperoni. Well, one bite and the mood was ruined.
Stark Naked is one of those independents that keeps people buying Domino's and Pizza Hut. The pizza is bad. I've had worse in Portland, but not many. I have to be generous to call it mediocre. Neither my wife or I finished our slices. On a brief return visit, results were the same, and I won't be back.
The crust is flavorless, soft like chain Italian breadsticks, and to my palate, undercooked. The sauce tastes like it comes from a jar off the shelves of any grocery store, long-simmered and overly sweet, with little complexity. Like the crust, the cheese is bland and also undercooked, being more rubbery than melted and stringy.
The pepperoni didn't have much flavor either, which, along with the other flavorless parts of the pie, meant that the insipid sauce dominated making for an insipid slice -- a slice lesser than the sum of its parts, perhaps. The icing on the cake was that both my wife and I were left with a chemically coating in our mouths that required a quick stop at a convience store for some gum and drinks.
$2.00 for cheese, $2.75 for pepperoni.
2835 SE Stark
Portland, OR
503.459.4450
|
|
